What is joy if I may ask?
The Merriam Webster defines joy as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.
And why its quest?
To feel fulfilled, complete, happy, content, feel inspired… and then? What happens when one reaches that stage, you are probably thrown back into that same vicious circle. State of paucity followed by feelings of restlessness, greed, dissatisfaction… and then just one fine day you pick yourself up and say enough is enough! I am going to find my share of happiness however I may desire and no one is coming between me and my rightful claim to joy. But, somehow it just reinstates Gabrielle Roy’s thought, “the more the heart is sated with joy, the more it becomes insatiable.”
I kind of agree, but I ask myself then, is it really worth toiling for when it would plummet me in the exact opposite feeling just moments later after its acquisition? Something more tenable, long-lasting and truly fulfilling and not the worldly claims of share of happiness could probably make one’s existence more meaningful. Yet, one may rejoice in his/her portion, which may not be never-ending.
This precise pursuit of not just joy but sated joy, of absolute, hungerless bliss will I believe define, create, sometimes subvert one’s character in this mysterious journey called life. I believe that Paul Kalanithi in his essay Before I go puts it beautifully that the caducity of the man reduces everything, the goals, ambitions, success, money all flat on the ground and there are just a handful of things that really mater after all. For him, the joy of being father despite his limited time with his new born daughter filled him with boundless happiness, something unknown and irreplaceable.
It may not be easy to find it, even less easy to understand without actually feeling it but maybe somewhere deep down, it is this we crave after those long days or years of struggle to survive in this world. A self-consuming process interspersed with those few little moments of ecstasy and absolute living that makes all the difference. Although tricky yet unostentatious, it would take lot of effort and contemplation. Surely doesn’t seem to be unattainable.
Till then, I shall claim my part of joie however temporary and ultimately fatiguing. And especially this thought, “Perhaps there go I after all. I can’t go on in any case. But I must go on. So I’ll go on.”
May everyone find their unabashed, countless, pure and I repeat sated joy!